The Heart of a Relationship

“No man is an island”

Until a few generations ago, the most important relationships were that of family and formal ones (father, mother, sister, brother, neighbor, boss, etc), whereas today people are looking for interactions beyond these. People want to create relationships that are long lasting and those which create a sense of belonging. What is special about humans is the ability to create bonds which imbibe a sense of belonging.

Without interactions, a person cannot survive. Different kinds of interactions lead to different kinds of relationships with people. All good relationships need efforts to nurture and maintain them with a good bond.

This bond needs to be strong and the 4 fundamental pillars can help you create a strong base for the kind of relationship you share with an individual. The 4 pillars of a relationship are given below in a sequential order.


It is highly important to be able to express your thoughts and feelings openly in a relationship. Communication is a two way street that requires both people to express freely and also listen to each other with an open mind. Having the freedom to share your innermost thoughts and feelings creates a closeness and intimacy, creating a safe space for both people in the relationship.

Tip: Spend time, sharing 5 good things and 5 bad things that have happened with you during the day. The other person will also start sharing.


The second pillar to create a good relationship is mutually respecting each other as individuals and also respecting the opinions shared by the other person. Thus, you must create enough freedom to value and respect each other to have a harmonious relationship.

Tip: When you disagree with a person’s point of view, how about saying “It’s an interesting point, let me think over it.” This automatically allows your mind to keep the option open for it to be a possibility and the other individual feels respected and valued.


The third pillar that creates a concrete relationship is trust. Trust does not mean blindly believing anything that a person says but understanding, analyzing the attributes of an individual and relying on them. Trust keeps varying in a relationship, when you discover that an individual is not living up to your expectations or wants and requirements.

Tip: Create an appropriate expectation list out of the relationship which is equal on both sides.While you expect something from a relationship, please keep in mind you reciprocate with a similar action.


The fourth pillar that allows any relationship to blossom is the willingness to make it work at any cost, not to leave a person midway during a situation. A commitment is a proactive method to make any relationship work.

Tip: Everyday, spend two minutes in appreciation of particular instances in each relationship. It creates a clarity of thought and willingness about positive things about the relationship.

Hence, in any relationship focus on these 4 parameters to create a strong, healthy, and happy relationship. When you are clear about what you want from a particular relationship, you can stir the relationship in the direction required.

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